It's Lizzie.
Manually photoshopped by my sister! Lol. Us girls and our make up. :-j
I thought I’d answer these in one go. I don’t know if these messages came from one person or not but nevertheless, I will answer both and bear in mind I speak directly to you.
Two things:
1. Nobody is nobody. Everyone can make something out of themselves. It’s just a matter of time. I don’t think wallowing in self-pity and regret will help you with that conquest. Although, admittedly, I have been in your position more than once. I have felt like I wasn’t enough countless times and I can’t even begin to explain how frustrating it gets when the people around you seem to have it all figured out -they seem to know who they are and what they want while you’re waiting around for something you’re not even sure is coming. But I’ve learned the hard way that it isn’t right to compare ourselves with others because we all go through life differently. Hating yourself for being different isn’t going to push you into the direction you’re meant to take. It might just even make you feel more lost.
2. Don’t be afraid of not meeting people’s standards. We all have our own monsters -something we’re insecure about. I myself have loads. I look into the mirror sometimes hating what I see. It definitely isn’t easy for anyone to admit how immensely flawed they are to themselves, what more to other people. But let’s face it, we can’t please everybody. I’ll bet you ten bucks that you can’t name anyone that hasn’t got anything they’re willing to change about themselves. Accepting the realities of the self is the only way you can be at peace with yourself. Our insecurities only get the best of us when we’re too scared to embrace our imperfections. I’m a hypocrite. I know. I care a lot about what other people think of me and I’m afraid of failure. But I’m starting to learn to not let it dictate how I see myself, and you shouldn’t as well because you’re just going to end up pulling yourself down. And you wouldn’t want that especially when all you want is to be able to rise above expectations -not for them but for yourself.
You are beautiful. You are brave enough to fight your monster. You are strong enough to accept who you are. And you should be patient enough to know that if you still don’t know who you are exactly, if you still haven’t “found yourself”, you eventually will. Only, don’t just sit around waiting, get up on your feet in pursuit. And even accidentally or by fate, it will find it’s way to you.
Anonymous asked: Have you lost anything that meant a lot to you? what was it and how did you deal with it?
I have lost quite a number of things that I once thought, I could never live without. Tangible and not. :) It’s difficult to pinpoint a specific item or event but in general I guess, it’s definitely hard having to lose something you’ve worked so hard to keep for so long or something you just happened to overlook/take for granted at that moment thinking it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and then all so suddenly having it escape your grasp. Losing anything that important would break your heart especially when you have to watch it slip away knowing you can’t really do anything to get it back. And still, uselessly, you try anyway.
Do we lose them for a reason? Maybe. They say things fall apart so better things can fall into place. Similarly I guess, you lose some things to make way for the better things you’d gain/discover and in the end it would all work out. That’s how I see it and keeping faith in that little philosophy continues to help me deal with loss. :)
Anonymous asked: why dose your descibtion say "liberte"? hope u reply!!!!! :]
Hello! Liberté - It’s french for “freedom”. Idk why but I’ve been attached to that word for a while now. Somehow I do believe it sums up all my desires for myself? or in life in general I guess. It’s kind of what I aim for when I start something and what I use as motivation to keep me going. It’s important for me to picture a point in my life when I’m not bound by my own insecurities and limited by people’s high standards. or something like that.
Soooo yeah. Liberté! :)
Anonymous asked: do you channel a persona when you write or does it come naturally? =)
Channeling a persona sounds sketchy…. If you mean having a “writing alterego” of sorts, maybe? But I don’t think I do. I do however try to see things in different eyes as much as possible. There are so many beautiful ways of seeing and experiencing things that I can only wish to discover. And to write about it all would be but a dream. I guess I just write what I feel. I mean, I do experience those writing blocks a lot of the time. Sometimes it’s because so many thoughts would be going through my mind and they’d all be shoving each other aside to make their way out onto paper. But after sorting things out and calming things down yeah, just what comes to mind, really. Yeah, I do dig deep into my “inner self” sometimes to get full emotions and to keep the piece flowing but usually it’s just all ground level.
And, I don’t think anything ever does come naturally for me. I put a lot of effort into the things I do, whether it’s writing or dancing. I think what makes the difference is that I enjoy it, so I don’t feel obliged to do it? I think that way, the words keep coming because I will it enough to do so. :)
Anonymous asked: Hey, I heard that your class (who I hear is like super AWESOME and stuffs) just had like the best play ever and that you directed it. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DIRECTORAL DEBUT. Do you ever wanna direct anything else?
Thank you!!! Okay, so I know who you are. hahahah fail.
And yes, my class is awesome. Very very awesome. lol :) It was amazing getting to work with them and discovering how talented they all are and I guess that was the selling point for me. I’d always been interested in directing and I’d done like minor projects like music videos and whatnot and I’ve wanted to try out directing a play for a long time so I guess I was lucky to be given the chance to do so. :) It was an absolutely amazing experience for me and I keep raving about it. But yeah, I would definitely want to experiment with directing other things. :)
I am nothing short of blessed to have you for my EnLit block. This play was just the most prominent of all the memories I would definitely cherish with all of you. From the conceptualization, to the scriptwriting, to committee making, to casting, to set planning, to blocking, to rehearsals, to set up, to the actual show, I will miss it all so much. Certainly the best experience of my freshman year.
To the GREATEST production crew in the whole world, we are so grateful for you guys. You did not only deal with the simple costumes of the actors but you also made sure all the props -and I mean ALL the props- were taken care of even prior to the show. The masks were a great touch to the exceptional work you did during the actual show. Colleen, Che, Jen, thank you. Nigel, you also especially for taking on the role of Executioner at the last minute.
Steph, I am so happy you were more than capable of handling lights and sounds. I mean you went even as far as getting us gels for the lights to give us the icy cool blue of our hell and the creepy red of light number 23 of Jus. Pmart, those sound effects gave our play that extra push we needed and Jay, your playlist saved the day. Bryan, I know you’re not part of this committee but thank you for being my right hand in this aspect. I don’t know how you did it but you even managed to pull off the heartbeat scene in which I take utmost pride. And to the great Michael Ley, I hope you don’t hate me for not mentioning you in the curtain call but you know how thankful I am you’re unlicall and you managed all the chaos backstage without a hitch.
My biggest gratitude to the scriptwriting team for giving us something magickal to work with. Russ for pitching us with the idea and Brylle and Ysa for helping to make it all come to life. It wouldn’t have all come together if it weren’t for you.
The imbento committee of Marketing&Finance, I don’t know how we would have done it without you. Sgt. Erika, I can’t say thank you enough for taking on this role and taking care of tickets and aiding Kristine with our amazing promos.
To the actors, I applaud you. I know memorizing that much lines was not easy. But you did it. We skipped some parts but it went unnoticeable thanks to your ingenious acting. Ice, your role was so serious and very unlike you but you surprised us by making the role very unbelievably believable. An important shout out to the extras, Ziv, Ken, Ysa and Jay: thank you for agreeing to being the cherries on top of our ice cream. Stephen, I knew you would be great. I just didn’t think you would be the one to start our second act on a high. I was pleasantly surprised. Also to JP and Denden who also shamelessly agreed to being our intermission number last minute, your judging scene was amazing and I love how in the zone all of you were. Midori and Alexa, I can’t forget to thank you for saying yes to this role and successfully making Vic feel as uncomfortable as possible. Vince and Nigel, we had a lot of revisions on your parts because they were too dragging but you guys were amazing. You were solely responsible for making those scenes the intensest of the play. Agi, I’m so glad you didn’t turn the play jeje. I love how you went on momma mode for us and you complemented Vic in the best way possible even giving us minor but important touches to the play. Page, our baby girl, I’m so amazed how well you delivered despite being sick. Maybe your sickness even made you ten times greater but I think you’re just really wonderful. Your screams seriously gave us all chills. Finally, to the stars of the show, Vic and Jus, if I wore hats, I’d tip them off to you. I can’t even begin to explain how proud I am of both of you. I always knew you could do it Vic, which is why we didn’t even think twice to cast you as lead. And you weren’t even in the actors committee (like Nigel), Jus but you wonderfully took on the role of the devil with the greatest charisma I’ve ever seen anyone project in a long long time. All of you were simply wonderful.
I’m running out of adjectives but I think you get the picture. I’m still hungover from the excitement and the great feedback I got from other people regarding our play and I just can’t believe we pulled it off! We had a lot of hassles, stress, set backs and challenges but you know what, everyone was still amazing and I just am so so so proud! “All the pain and suffering would be worth going through because YOU are worth it.”
Another congratulations to all of us! WE DID IT, R35, WE DID IT. :)
(photo from Erika Cantor)
I couldn’t find it in my heart to answer these because I know once I do, it would disappear from my inbox. And I think I like seeing them there. Thank you, really you guys. My gut tells me you are my friends so thank you for this. But in case you aren’t, thank you even more. It really does mean a lot to me. :)
Your Song
This is an old post, my first sound cloud recording, actually. I think I’d posted this already but it seems to have disappeared somehow.
It’s Ellie Goulding’s version of the song. Obviously it isn’t as good as her version or even Elton John’s but I really really like this song so I thought why not. I did it when I was stuck at home with a fever a few months back and bored out of my wits. Oh and this was all in one take so forgive me if it doesn’t live up to your standards. I hadn’t learned how to do the multi track thing on garageband yet. hahahaa.
…and I sort of howl near the end. It was unintentional and I swear, it was intended to be pleasant but turned out otherwise. hahahahahaha. whoops.
Anonymous asked: what? but you speak english perfectly! and you're too pretty to be filipino. you've got to have some other blood?
First of all, that’s racist. What, Filipinos can’t “speak english perfectly”? That’s what you call having a good education. Second of all, I am flattered by that attempt at a compliment. I actually am a bit of spanish and there’s a pinch of chinese blood along the line so yes I have “other blood” but hold up. Are you insinuating that I can’t be pretty because I’m filipino? (i feel a mean girls moment coming: “so you agree, you think you’re really pretty?” but back to my point) That’s pretty low to assume that filipinos HAVE to have “some other blood” to be considered pretty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this is cliche as it gets. I’m sure your race is beautiful as are others so I really don’t think you should go on stereotyping other races as ones that can’t be pretty because really, who are you to judge?
“Oh what I’d do just to be free..”
I MADE IT I MADE IIIIIT! I can’t believe itttttt. March 2nd was one of the best mornings of my life! YAAAAAAY. My out of the blue blog entry/submission actually made it to the website!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just so happy okay. Really really really happy. really happy.
Click the photo to see!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3
Imagine this: A dark theatre at the wake of a thunderous applause. A silent pair of footsteps making its way to the center. Everything is quiet; a hush from the anticipation. Pairs of eyes waiting, expectant. And a single heartbeat. Breathe in, breathe out. Everything around seems to disappear at that moment. A blinding spotlight. A chin raised up with pride; eyes dashed with the sparkle of a thousand twinkling stars. Then a murderous smile. Then the music starts.
I can’t even begin to explain the fulfillment I get from the stage. Even just warming up on it makes me feel invincible. Performances and recitals have always been something I looked and will continue to look forward to simply because of the little things that make it all worth going through. Preparing my costumes the night before, making a check list of the things I need (internally panicking about what I potentially might forget to bring for the actual show), and performing the dances in my head over and over again and masochistically making myself more nervous just by doing so. oh God, the nerves. Together with the blisters, the bruises, the cramps.I will never trade those nerves for anything. It excites me. It keeps me going.
The chaos that happens in the backstage, I bask in it -I live for it. I’ve learned to appreciate the commotion brought about by the diversity of personalities in the dressing rooms. Girls fussing about different things all at the same time, it’s all so amusing, really! You’d see some happily chatting along and losing all signs of the stereotyped poise and composure ballet dancers ought to have; they slouch and pig out on snacks they packed to munch on while waiting for call time. And you’d smile at seeing other girls mentally preparing for the show doing stretches and warm ups on any empty space they can find. And more often than not, you’d laugh a bit at the girls whose faces are mere inches away from the mirrors trying to fix their appearances and fumbling with their eyeliners and lipsticks. (You know, prettying up and putting on each other’s stage make up, call me a girly girl, but I do rather enjoy it!)
But what I value the most, never changing in my 13 years of dancing, has got to be being in the company of dancers -friends- that I’ve grown to love as family. Moments with these people are moments to be cherished for the rest of my life. I’m lucky to have had a decent, even special, relationship with all of them on and off the stage all these years and they will always know how grateful I am for each of them. They make me enjoy dancing all the more, they keep me passionate about it.
Of course, we can’t exclude the highlight of the whole experience, which is dancing my heart out on that stage. It’s been my passion for a long time now -something I’ve always seen as a challenge. What with all the pressure and obstacles that come with being a dancer, I’ve been slapped with temptations of giving up. But not once did I ever consider it something that isn’t all worth it. I wouldn’t consider myself the best at it, but it’s where my heart belongs, it’s a part of me that’s been a constant outlet to let out all kinds of emotions that fly by. It doesn’t always make me happy, but it makes me content. so should it really matter if I am the best? or if I’m not? I may or may not continue dancing the rest of my life, I may or may not pursue a career as a professional ballerina, but like I said, it has my heart. I will always appreciate it for inspiring me and forever appreciate it for everything it made me.
Ridgepointe Ballet, my family, to you I am forever indebted. Thank you for introducing me to the wonderful world of dance. Cheers to 22 years of passion, precision and pure joy in dance!
DISCLAIMER: I do not claim ownership of the photo above.
